You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
