My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
