If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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