But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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