I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
