Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
