I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
