My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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