I will die if light touches me.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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