Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
