wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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