Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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