whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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