Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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