It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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