The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
