Where did you get a picture of my penis
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
