You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize