I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
