These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
