STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
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Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
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I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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