it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
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WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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