1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
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