I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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