love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
