from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize