i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
