i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
