I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She announced her abortion via fbk
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
