im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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