That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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