When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
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I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
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Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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