escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
this is an emotional support booty call
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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