Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Randomize
