So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
