the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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