My brain says no but my pants say off.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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