I hate your face
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
