He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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