that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
