i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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