So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
All I want is dick and wine.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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