You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize