i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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