Plan B is the new Plan A
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize