no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
