***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
