Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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