i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
