How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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