im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
