as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
