I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
