I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
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