By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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