All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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