The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I cannot find my penis.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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