Is it normal to miss your booty call?
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
