i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
