i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
