Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
