am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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