trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
