are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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