Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
