Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
