I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
