I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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