you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
