No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
